That's the same question we asked, too! It's nothing scary or confusing.
This little "newspaper" was created for the purpose reaching the
so-called public in a way that they can relate to.
As some of you may know, (and the rest of you who don't), this company operates
ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF-LINE, a service reporting on TV, films, books,
records, and any other entertainment venture worth reporting on! Through
these handy-dandy computers, one can receive via this handy dandy web site,
some comments from us on what's going down! Since cyberspace is presently
the "hot" element for us to become involved in, we said, "Hey,
let's jump on the bandwagon and grab a piece of the pie!" (our quotes
more-or-less!). So AL-OL was launched, so anybody...yes, ANYBODY
in the world can receive these bits of news and reviews with just a touch
of a search engine!
With all of this technology at one's fingertips, one may suspect that they
have it all, right? Well, to misquote Gershwin, "..'Taint necessarily
so!!!.." How? Read on....
Recently, yours truly attended (or "tried" to attend) a number
of press junkets arranged by a TV critics' trade group. I was denied access
to this press junket because, according to the person in charge who broke
this news to me, I wasn't working for a "print" newspaper!
Well, EXSUUUUSE MEEE! I didn't realize that I'm different because
I'm not "print"! What difference does it make that I'm writing
about TV, etc. via hi-tek cyberspace, vs. low-tek newsprint! I felt disappointed,
if not downright insulted! If that's what kind of rules you want to play,
let's go for it!
So, with fanfare in hand, we present this news service in PRINT,
called (what else?), ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF-LINE. Nothing too fancy
here, we'll still bring our the best, worst, and nothing-to-write-home-about
news and reviews that one is accustomed to on AL ON-LINE, except
we will appear on good 'ol fashioned paper!
Don't get us wrong! We aren't taking a king-size step backward! No way in
hell, we are! We are just "enhancing" our reach, cume and other
powerful phrases that you advertising guys 'n gals know about! If fact,
there are a lot of advantages of appearing on paper via on-line! Consider
these possibilities....
-You can take this paper anywhere; on the bus, in a cave, and even while
sitting on the "throne". Y' can't do that from cyberspace--boy
howdy!!
-You can write neat stuff on the paper print, such as phone numbers of prospective
dates, grocery lists, 'lucky' lottery ticket numbers, and 1,372 other neat
jazz!
- When you're done reading the paper, you can throw it away!!
I can list more reasons, but let's leave this list stuff to David Letterman
's writers! This paper is for the person who enjoys simple things! OK, this
will be so simple, and even yours truly can understand it!
THE BASIC RULES
Well, there ARE no basic rules, but there will be a few guidelines
we'll follow. First, these issues will be released as soon as the elements
allow us to complete an edition. It may take a week, it may take four months!
Writing a paper that's full to cheap-butt fluff is that...fluff! I see too
many newspapers, magazines, and other slop that is nothing but chock-full
'o half-baked stories (correction: rewritten press releases), that hype
the jeez out of something that nobody gives a hoot'n hell about. We'll try
to cut the crap, and stick to the juicy scoop! That's what our readers want,
and if they want to waste their time reading dribble material, we can recommend
these hungry folks a lot of sources that are real (and fake) dribble! Not
here!!
So with all of this in mind, let's get busy! (Later in this paper, we'll
tell you where and how you can drop us a line of what 'cha think!l -Let's
go for it.....
TELEVISION NEWS 'N REVIEWS
Although the current TV season is going quite well, we were going to
report of what will be on the tube as the season progresses for both broadcast
and cable TV. However, as stated at the head of this edition, we were not
able to give any reports of what's going on, since the "powers that
be" wouldn't allow us access to what they (the networks) want you to
know about. How the hey are you suppose to watch their programming if you
don't know what to look for, and when!! This idea doesn't make sense to
us, but then again, what DOES make sense? Therefore, all we have
to give to you is....nothing! Of course, we can get our sources by stealing
them from another newspapers and/or magazines. Not only this idea is rather
uncouth, but it's not cricket!
So as a brief editorial, we'll pass this message to all of those responsible
for this minor mix-up (and you know who you are). We'll forgive this flaw,
and perhaps come later this season, maybe these parties can do us a favor
and give us the opportunity to report on some news, rather than give this
excuse that embarrasses not only us, but all of the TV networks, and programmers.
(Sorry guys 'n gals...we're just doing our job, y'know!!)
RECORDED MUSIC
Years ago, this little section would be called a "record review".
Here, a reader would see a review of some musical release that would only
appeal to the reviewer; that is, a music format that's chosen by the reviewer.
It wouldn't be proper (or even fair) that a jazz music piece be reviewed
by a reggae person, and so on! If you are someone who's desperately looking
for a review of the latest release by PEARL JAM, and around here,
not only we don't give a hoot over Pearl Jam themselves, we don't give a
hoot 'n hell about their music genre!!
Please don't get us wrong....we like Pearl Jam for being themselves and
all, but we just don't care too much for the music they play and record!!
With this idea in mind, we will only review a selected album from somebody
or something that we feel that should get an amount or media attention.
These releases won't be everything, but then again, we can't hit everything.
This type of CD/cassette releases we see pass our front desk that we'll
bring up right now is the movie soundtrack album. Not too long ago, an album
(NOTE: although that the term "album" may strike up visions
of these releases on 12" vinyl disks all of these titles are available
on CD/cassette.) that was an "Original, Motion Picture Soundtrack"
consisted of the rich music score that were conducted by anybody from John
Williams to Bernard Herrmann to ....?? One can hear all of the orchestral
pieces; music that wouldn't be noticed at all if it wasn't for the "soundtrack
album". Nowadays, when a release states it's the "original motion
picture soundtrack" and its song titles lists a dozen or so musicians
on the soundtrack album....beware!!! Not only the fact that the "soundtrack"
is just a thinly desguised artists' anthology release, but it may not have
all or any of the music that one wouldn't notice unless they hear the ......"original
motion picture soundtrack!!.."
Too bad!! I can understand that the type of music can arouse a mood, to
have the listener act accordingly based on the music, mood of listener,
etc. but this is usually done with the music SCORE, not just a selection
of artists, music formats, and whatever these elements can form a common
bond somehow, not just slapping some second-rate "established"
vocalist, band, or whatever, and inserting them in a film soundtrack for
the excuse of either using music pieces on the cheap, or re-re-re-using
rock and roll "oldies", and then making what would be a "oldies"
album. (The Forrest Gump soundtrack album is a perfect example...a
two-CD release with nearly fifty cuts on the soundtrack, most of the songs
are just hits of the 1950's, 6O's and 70's, and only ONE selection
is an actual music score!!) Anyway, looking for a soundtrack album that
actually IS a soundtrack album, not just a "Greatest Hits"
release that loosely ties into a film, I would recommend checking any film
score release from Rhino Records, (lots of re-issues from
older films, including the MGM collection), DCC Compact Classics
(Their recent re-release of the one time out-of-print Raiders Of The
Lost Ark soundtrack contains additional materials that was not previously
available!), and from Varese Sarabande . (This company carries
current film releases--the Danny Elfman score of To Die For
is better than the film itself!) In time, we will review these and future
soundtracks as space allows us!!
OTHER STUFF
In addition to movies TV shows, and music, we will also report on stage
plays, concerts, dance productions, and any other "live" events
playing within a 75 mile radius of downtown Los Angeles. Again, as time
progresses, this news 'n reviews will appear right here! Watch this space!!
YOUR TURN!!
If you wish to contact us, you can either write, fax, or e-mail us! Send us you comments, suggestions, questions, or even your favorite chocolate-chip cookie recipes to the following;
MAILING ADDRESS:
ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF-LINE
c/o Linear Cycle Productions
Box 2608
Sepulveda, CA 91393-2608
Attn: Editors
FAX: (818) 347-9880
E-mail: lcp@westworld.com
Web Site: www.westworld.com/~lcp/
ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF-LINE (C) 1996-97 Linear Cycle Productions. All Rights
Reserved. All opinions expressed within this publications are the sole opinion
of the writers and not necessarily those of this company, its staff, or
management.'Nuff said!!
NOTE: The above piece is a sample issue of ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF
LINE. If you are interested in a subscription, please contact us at
the above addresses, etc., and we'll give you the scoop on how to get hooked
up!! Until then, see ya!!